I started writing a song a couple of months back that came from a simple chorus of "I will cling, cling to Your hand, and I'll sing how I am safe, with You I am safe." I have ALOT of irrational fears....nuclear warfare, home invasion, zombie apocalypse, high speeds, flying....just to name a few. :o) The beauty of them is that for the most part they are irrational...I mean zombies?!?! And so no biggie. But sometimes....the irrational parallels with reality a bit too closely. We have had a dozen or so apartment robberies in the Fort Wayne area over the past week and a half. Most happened after dark, some involved guns, some just a purse snatch, and others a home invasion to take higher value items like televisions.
Now, I was born and raised in Northern Virginia. I know to be aware of where I am and who or what may be around me. I know to park in well lit areas and keep an eye out for things that look slightly off. I also lived in Northern Virginia during the "Beltway Sniper", when we all walked through parking lots zig zagging and I wasn't allowed to gas up the car. I was home from college on fall break, and the tension one felt when going out anywhere was thick and heavy.
So this rash of robberies just feels plain weird. I still feel safe here in my apartment, I know several of my neighbors, and I've always been observant as I've walked from the car to the building, or taken my trash out. My doors are always locked, I even lock my car when it is parked in a locked garage....I don't think I could change these habits if I wanted to. What I will not do, is alter my life dramatically. I will not purchase a gun or other weapon to carry. I will not live in fear of "what might happen." What I will do, is to continue living.
And so I finished the song "Safe",the other day. I don't know if it will ever make it into the setlist of a house concert, the beauty of songwriting is that it is an overflow of what I am feeling and experiencing. I needed to remind myself that regardless of the decisions of others, the bad ones and the good ones, I know to Whom I belong. NOTHING changes that. I am safe.