April 15, 2016

The first time I felt dizzy, I kind of thought I was dying. Roughly two weeks ago, I was listening to a group of third graders practice their upcoming presentation when I leaned to the side as a wave of dizziness hit. I immediately stood up and walked the length of the classroom alternating my thoughts between fictional scenarios in which I was about to have a stroke or heart attack and how would these children handle that??? I finally settled on the fact that a family history of diabetes had finally caught up to me and surely this was just a drop in blood sugar.  With an overactive imagination, none of these situations "ended well", so I sat back down, ate some cookies I had with me, and tried to breathe normally..... The dramatics continued when I got home that evening as I started cleaning the apartment...purely under the thought that if my body was going to be found in a few days, nobody was going to find dirty clothes on the floor of my bathroom too.

Fast forward a week and the dizziness continued to come and go. I booked my long overdue wellness appointments (adulting is hard!) for a few days out and tried to keep track of the symptoms. Then in a normal Monday morning meeting, I couldn't seem to focus between the voices, the lights, my thoughts... the dizziness felt worse and I ended up at the doctor's that very afternoon. The doctor ordered blood work to rule out a list of other factors and diagnosed me with vertigo....which feels like a fancy word to say I feel dizzy and will continue to feel dizzy until this sorcery leaves my body. Something about tiny stones or "crystals" that are lodged in the ear canal that cause the imbalance? She handed me a paper with "exercises" that consist of tilting your head in different directions and I earned 3 Disney Princess stickers for being a good blood giver.... it's the little things friends.

Anyways, now there is way less panic in the midst of the dizziness since I know I'm not actively dying, but I still feel like I'm walking on a moving cruise ship....which is pretty much the WORST since I. hate. cruises. And since prior to my doctor's visit, I somewhat logically assumed it was a blood sugar problem, I had been exercising almost every day.....which only heightens the effects of vertigo. #thestruggleisreal

Today I'm on the road to Pennsylvania, back to the beautiful town of Selinsgrove (where I played last fall) to share music with youth gathering at Susquehanna University on Saturday. And I found a friend to tag along....the vertigo has been improving all week, but I would much rather be safe than have to pull over to rest at one of those abandoned gas stations on the backroads of PA!